Texas Beard Off

Beard Contest in Shamrock Texas.

Shaken not stirred.

"I was born in the back seat of a Taxi Cab in a hospital loading zone and with the meter still running. I emerged needing a shave and shouted 'Time Square and step on it!'" - Tom Waits

Tom I'll see you in Burma Shave.

01/02

As you all can see, the shadow is in full effect. I did some beard exercising today at work and feel like it is really paying off. At this rate, it will officially be a beard in about a week. I hope everyone is enjoying the approaching storm that is my face.

Bugs

There have been some reports of the page displaying funky in older versions of IE. I am looking into the issue, but for now my advice is to try a different browser if you have one loaded.

Day 1

I feel naked. I feel like Sampson. My face is angry. I look forward to tomorrow morning when I can wake up with some stubble.

However disheartening the first day may be I am confident in my ability to rebound with a full and fiery beard. 

Stubble I'm coming for you. I await your answer.

01/01

I'm not scared. I've been here before. I can already feel my hair growing out from my face. It's just a matter of time before a five o'clock shadow because a hairy bush of doom. I stood outside for six hours straight forcing my naked skin to endure the cool air. I look forward to looking even more intense tomorrow.

My Motivation part no. 4

What if I told you this guy was my brother? Would growing a beard be worth it anymore?
I didn't need to say my goodbyes to my face hair because I am down for the cause. I am more dedicated to my beard then ever before.

Mr. Hindew may hang out with babies but how can you mess with someone who hangs out with ox?

Moment of Truth

Here we are. A few minute before launch time. Emmet is getting his last pulls before the beard comes off. I promise him it'll be back bigger and stronger very soon. It's a sacrifice but our family honor is at stake.

I've yet to hear from Mike Stubble. I assume he is going through his own ceremonious goodbyes

My Motivation part no. 3

I can't wait till the hair on my face adds depth, dimension, style and symmetry.

Confucius says

A beard on the chin is worth two in the bush.

It'll put hair on your chin.

What is this I hear? Genetics and hormones? Stubble, my friend, I feel you are unprepared for this match. You can not rely on your genetics. I will share with you one of my secrets. Two fingers of Irish Whiskey (won in a Yankee-swap), every morning will provide my face with the nutrients it needs to surpass your so-called genetics. It grows hair on my chin, chest and just about everywhere else.

An just in case you get any ideas, there will be random drug testing. This is not the MLB.

This is what beards.org has taught me tonight

"Basically, there is nothing that you can do to increase your beard development. Genetics and hormones are the major determinants of an individual's beard development. Unless you suffer from a hormonal imbalance, generally there is no medical treatment available to increase beard growth. If you have any doubts or concerns, you should consult a physician and possibly even an endocrinologist and dermatologist."

I feel bad for the non-Greek in this battle.

My Motivation part no. 2

Beards in olden times,
were the emblems of
wisdom and piety.

-Thomas Babington Macaulay